Reflections on the Last Challenge from 2015.
Yes it's been awhile. I can see my last post was in 2015. My humblest apologies for being away so long. Whoa a lot has happened in that time and wow have I had to learn some valuable new lessons. There's been a lot of sadness, fear, trepidation and a lot of other adjectives. There's also been happiness, joy and laughter too. Reading back over my last post, I read the fits line of topic of the day, " What if you feel down right shitty, sad, sad, angry, annoyed, unhappy, defeated....and you just can't toss the feeling away?" Wow what a sentence. How does that make me feel nearly 2 years on? To be honest, I made the right decision and am exactly where I need to be, albeit it life is not perfect , definitely not. I wrote about being in a shitty mood. I know now, I get in shitty moods. Less so than possibly back then because I understand myself more and am better at communicating.
So what happened? Well I didn't think any one was reading. Even after all the time. I go and look and there has been people coming the blog. Thank you. Also, in late 2016, my husband told me that either he moves out or I do. We were getting less and less communicative and we did not speak for a week. It was a long time coming. I said I'd go. Soon after, I bought a one way plane ticket from Perth, Western Australia to Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, a 3418 or there about km trip. I packed two suitcases with clothes. He and our daughter drove me to the airport. I waved good bye at the gate. Had a bit of a sook. I haven't been back yet. I got to Melbourne and was picked up by two very good friends. One dragged me out to a bar that night. Mind you I hadn't been out in a very long time. I had a ball. The next day, we watched dvd's and then he drove me to my mum's house where I stayed for a bit until we butted heads. Mum has a small house and she likes to go to bed early. I don't. We just aren't meant to live together. I ordered a taxi one night, took my suitcases and went to my best friend's house, where I lived on her couch for three months.
So what happened? Well I didn't think any one was reading. Even after all the time. I go and look and there has been people coming the blog. Thank you. Also, in late 2016, my husband told me that either he moves out or I do. We were getting less and less communicative and we did not speak for a week. It was a long time coming. I said I'd go. Soon after, I bought a one way plane ticket from Perth, Western Australia to Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, a 3418 or there about km trip. I packed two suitcases with clothes. He and our daughter drove me to the airport. I waved good bye at the gate. Had a bit of a sook. I haven't been back yet. I got to Melbourne and was picked up by two very good friends. One dragged me out to a bar that night. Mind you I hadn't been out in a very long time. I had a ball. The next day, we watched dvd's and then he drove me to my mum's house where I stayed for a bit until we butted heads. Mum has a small house and she likes to go to bed early. I don't. We just aren't meant to live together. I ordered a taxi one night, took my suitcases and went to my best friend's house, where I lived on her couch for three months.
Here's a photo at sunset near mum's and my beloved Corona. Ahh where you want to be. Is that the Corona slogan?
My besty lives in a gorgeous seaside town. I won't give it a name. She lives about 7 walking minutes to the main street. I would saunder through the park and head down the street to meander about. There's great opportunity (thrift) shops, a weekly market and lots of quirky stores. There are also loads of restaurants and cafes. I often went down the street and had a cuppa, relaxed and people watched. The beach is also at the end of the main street. which is a bonus. I lost a heap of weight that Summer because my car hadn't arrived from Perth yet. I was walking everywhere. I was single! I completely changed my food eating habits and I had to change my mindset. I even got a tattoo! It's on my wrist and is of my daughter's name.
A view on my way down the street one day.
Loved living in that seaside town. Love, loved, loved it. I aim to move back one day. I swam a lot and generally had a amazing time. I also got on Tinder. Oh my! I had a few dates, nothing serious but got to enjoy some of the local restaurants in the town. I even had Japanese for the first time. Damn that was amazing. I sometimes run into the person I went there with. We say hi, how ya doing?, bye. We did have a hilarious night.
Eventually my welcome was worn out at my best friends, and I had to move. My friendship with my beautiful friend was getting strained. I had been visiting places to live but none were suitable. One I was waiting to hear back from. During my inspections of houses to share, I met a very gorgeous, wonderful older lady who I now considered one of my closest friends. It's funny how the world works. Alas my best friend wanted me out, so I bravely called the last person whose house I'd see, the person I had been waiting on. I really wanted to move into his house, it was big and yay had a pool. It was also in an area I wanted to live in. My great great grandparents and grandparents lived in this town. It has heritage value to me. After describing my dilemma to this potential landlord, he agreed to allow me to move in that afternoon. This is where I call home now. Well most of the time. I do frequently stay for weeks at a time at a friends house in another lovely seaside town. More often than not I'm there more than here.
Eventually my welcome was worn out at my best friends, and I had to move. My friendship with my beautiful friend was getting strained. I had been visiting places to live but none were suitable. One I was waiting to hear back from. During my inspections of houses to share, I met a very gorgeous, wonderful older lady who I now considered one of my closest friends. It's funny how the world works. Alas my best friend wanted me out, so I bravely called the last person whose house I'd see, the person I had been waiting on. I really wanted to move into his house, it was big and yay had a pool. It was also in an area I wanted to live in. My great great grandparents and grandparents lived in this town. It has heritage value to me. After describing my dilemma to this potential landlord, he agreed to allow me to move in that afternoon. This is where I call home now. Well most of the time. I do frequently stay for weeks at a time at a friends house in another lovely seaside town. More often than not I'm there more than here.
One of the Very Beautiful Beaches on the Mornington Peninsula.
Over the last year and a bit. I've had to learn some darn lessons and new life skills. I've had depression, rejection and a hell of a lot of fear. I acquired numbness to my left leg/arm which is intermittent, that came out of the blue and ended with me being in hospital with a suspected stroke, MS, or brain tumour, all have been ruled out yay. I also suffer from pelvic pain. I'm thrilled to say that has lessened considerably, over 90% since I left my marriage. It's not an every day thing anymore, but I still do get it intermittently. This I am ecstatic about because it had interfered with my life for so long.
A person who was also sharing the house with us, committed suicide, that was a tough one. Nice guy. I was sad and angry that I didn't stop him or be aware he wanted to end his life. Supposedly this wasn't his first attempt either. This time he was successful. I wasn't home at the time and received a call in the middle of the night from my landlord. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear the news until the morning. I wasn't doing too well with it. It wasn't until I went into his room the other day with my landlord and had a look around that my mind shifted. When I learned a previous hospital admission was a suicide attempt, my mind accepted what happened. I feel a lot better now, having done that and by talking about it with my landlord and others.
I learned my husband had traded me in for a young 20 something year old. I'm yet to settle our divorce and other things that come with that. I have been kazinating as my friends say to me. This is one thing I definitely have been slow to act upon. I have a wonderful close friend, who throughout the last year has let me unload stuff out of my mind about my marriage. I also have wonderful group of very close friends who too have allowed me just to talk and get things out. I am truly blessed for their friendship and love. I have tears in my eyes as I write this and a choked up throat. These people who have been there for me are amazing. Of the 6 of them, three I've met within the last year. Love them to bits. Some I don't see a lot of but they're only a phone call away. I've shed some tears with this lot. xxxxxx.
I also had to live without a computer for a while until my best friend gave me one of hers. Blessed be. There is also no internet connection where I live or stay so I've taken to using my phone as my data source. I've just ordered a modem and a sim card whose data plans are enough for my needs and a reasonable price. I had to go buy all new kitchen bits and pieces, pots and pans etc. Start again. I was given a food processor for Christmas from mum. Love it. I don't own a bed yet, but I do have two duck feather doonas and an awesome duck pillow. These gifted to me by my mum and best friend. I also don't own a tv either. I have one in my room though and there's one where I go and stay. The one in my room is an old one and uses a set top box. Can't get some channels but it's enough. I'm a minimalist now. I have heaps of clothes mind you and some could be sent to the opportunity shops, but I don't really possess a lot of things anymore.
A person who was also sharing the house with us, committed suicide, that was a tough one. Nice guy. I was sad and angry that I didn't stop him or be aware he wanted to end his life. Supposedly this wasn't his first attempt either. This time he was successful. I wasn't home at the time and received a call in the middle of the night from my landlord. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear the news until the morning. I wasn't doing too well with it. It wasn't until I went into his room the other day with my landlord and had a look around that my mind shifted. When I learned a previous hospital admission was a suicide attempt, my mind accepted what happened. I feel a lot better now, having done that and by talking about it with my landlord and others.
I learned my husband had traded me in for a young 20 something year old. I'm yet to settle our divorce and other things that come with that. I have been kazinating as my friends say to me. This is one thing I definitely have been slow to act upon. I have a wonderful close friend, who throughout the last year has let me unload stuff out of my mind about my marriage. I also have wonderful group of very close friends who too have allowed me just to talk and get things out. I am truly blessed for their friendship and love. I have tears in my eyes as I write this and a choked up throat. These people who have been there for me are amazing. Of the 6 of them, three I've met within the last year. Love them to bits. Some I don't see a lot of but they're only a phone call away. I've shed some tears with this lot. xxxxxx.
I also had to live without a computer for a while until my best friend gave me one of hers. Blessed be. There is also no internet connection where I live or stay so I've taken to using my phone as my data source. I've just ordered a modem and a sim card whose data plans are enough for my needs and a reasonable price. I had to go buy all new kitchen bits and pieces, pots and pans etc. Start again. I was given a food processor for Christmas from mum. Love it. I don't own a bed yet, but I do have two duck feather doonas and an awesome duck pillow. These gifted to me by my mum and best friend. I also don't own a tv either. I have one in my room though and there's one where I go and stay. The one in my room is an old one and uses a set top box. Can't get some channels but it's enough. I'm a minimalist now. I have heaps of clothes mind you and some could be sent to the opportunity shops, but I don't really possess a lot of things anymore.
Our Challenge for Today
Make a small decision about something you may have been procrastinating on. Whatever it is be committed to making one small step to making that decision today. Write down actions you may need to take to get to your decision pr simply make one. Choose one that has been hard to make a decision on. Give it a go.
My Room. This is Not my Dog.
Your Feedback
I'd love to hear how you went with this challenge. Let me know how you went and how you felt undertaking this task or what you've read on this blog. If you'd like to get in touch with me personally email me at [email protected] or connect with me on Facebook.
I'd love your participation and feedback. Go to top of any post and click where it says comments or below each post. You can remain anonymous if you wish.
I'd love your participation and feedback. Go to top of any post and click where it says comments or below each post. You can remain anonymous if you wish.